I was sitting at Dane’s fourth grade awards ceremony
yesterday in wonder of how I got to where I was at, in that exact moment. With two girls sitting next to me, one up
front receiving awards and one down the hall in his first grade classroom. It was a surreal moment, one that will be
forever etched in my mind. It was in that moment that the reality hit me that I
was home with my entire family and my new normal was upon me in full
swing.
I know you are all wondering how we are doing, and the
simple answer is “better than expected.”
Our entire family is working through changes and learning what it looks
like to be a big family. We are teaching
the girls what it means to be a family and to share. We are reminding the boys about the
importance of family time and their new roles.
There have been moments of challenge for all of us and there
have been great opportunities for teachable moments. I am learning all about the differences in
parenting girls and boys and I love
watching the girls as they adapt and learn their new culture. Most importantly
I have been reminded everyday about new beginnings and that each day is a fresh
start in the eyes of the Lord.
In this new chapter of our lives, I feel something I don't believe I have ever felt in my life. I feel content! This contentment has come at a price, but one I wish I paid a long time ago. Living abroad, caring for orphans, being away from my family and friends, and having to rely on other people for everything was the most humbling and rewarding experience of my life. It was also the most challenging, but I have learned lessons that God has been trying to teach me for years. And while I have so many more lessons to learn in accepting God's grace on my life and living in obedience, I am living with so much more patience and love than I had before. For the first time in my life I am living without fear of being in control and it is the most freeing feeling I have ever felt.
I love Rick Warren's reflection on the verse from James 4:7 "Submit yourselves then to God" when he says "Give God control of your life. Put him in charge. Yield yourself to him. Quit trying to run your own life."
So when this" used to be type A personality" seems a little frazzled and our family chaos is a lot out of control, rest assured that I am okay. I am okay because as I bask in God's plan for my life the only thing that matters is today. And today I am content...right where I am at!
