Yesterday was one of the “those” days. A day where wanting a “re-do” follows you around like a lost puppy dog. I woke up knowing that it would be filled with errands and completing adoption paperwork. My first mistake, I chose that morning to back off my caffeine addiction. It turns out I really do need that second cup of coffee! My other mistake, instead of finding the blessing in sharing my heart with a child on the other side of the world, I let the devil steal my joy. I grumbled all the way to the police station for fingerprints and I was annoyed when the doctor office was confused by my need for a notary to sign the physician report. There are many nuances that accompany completing adoption documents and one of them is having documents notarized. I get the legality of it; I just don’t like the inconvenience of it. As the day wore on I felt more anger creeping in and the devil working overtime. I was finding everyday tasks annoying: leaving the grocery list at home, hitting every red light, eating lunch on the run and cleaning up dog pee (although cleaning pee out of the dog crate for the umpteenth time is annoying everyday!) I was letting the devil have those small inconveniences and he turned them into so much more. While shoving in my sandwich and fries (and spilling ketchup on my shirt) I had created quite a conversation in my head. I had continued on with my errands and to have a chest x-ray (also adoption paperwork related) and by the time the afternoon ended, that conversation turned into a little pity party for myself. I had crafted worse case scenarios for all situations that lie ahead, convincing myself that something was going to stop us from adopting. More than once I had thought...this is too hard,God you called the wrong family for this adventure. Sitting down for dinner I felt defeated, but in that moment of defeat, the words that God knew I needed to hear came out of D. He knew nothing about my day or the conversations I had going on in my head, but this was his dinner prayer “Lord, thank you for this food, thank you that we get to have food, be with our brother or sister in Africa and keep them safe and give them food. Lord, be with my mom and give her courage to go to Africa.” From God’s heart to the mouth of my son, it was exactly what I needed to turn that defeat towards the devil.
