For years I have been praying that God would reveal the course to take in regards to caring for orphans. While I still had some anxieties over the path to take we decided to step out in faith, knowing that it will become clearer as time goes by. That is what faith is about right? That we are fully trusting even when we can’t see around the bend and that everything we need for the journey will be provided. Looking back and seeing how we have been carried in the past does help, but it is still scary! It is scary because we do not always feel equipped or more honestly, most days we don’t want to follow where He is asking us to go.
The orphan crisis is so big and I hear time and time again, “you can’t save them all.” Over the years, I let those thoughts creep into my head and they built up a wall around my heart making me feel paralyzed with fear. Praying, "Lord, I am not equipped, why would you ask me to do that?" But God kept putting me in places where I needed to see the hurts of this world. I am so thankful to be put in those places because I have learned that God is not asking me to save anyone, he is just asking me to walk with people and love them.
When I was younger and headstrong to make a difference in this world, I was on a selfish pursuit. I served without really understanding why I was serving. I was proud and sadly; felt that I was doing it all on my own. There was a time that I thought bringing a child into our family through adoption would be saving a life? And who wouldn't want to save a life of a child, right?
However, what was revealed to me over the years was not what I expected. Is adoption saving a life? Yes, it is saving a life, mine. As a Christian I was saved the day that Jesus went to the cross and I was adopted by a father that loves me so much and with my sinfulness he continues to love me. I believe that everyone should know the love of a family in the same way that God has shown his love to us by bringing us into his family. To know that I am loved makes me want to love beyond my capacity, fully knowing that God is there to do the rest. No, I can’t save them all, but I am thankful that I have been sent to some hard places to see that. I am thankful because I have learned to see the world differently. I have learned that this life that I have been given is not at all about me. I am so thankful God saved me and showed me that loving others is way better than loving myself.
For me that means taking bigger steps and moving forward in faith. It means that I am going to go to some hard places and learn difficult lessons along the way. It means that sometimes those around me will think I am crazy. It means that my family has learned to live with seat belts on, waiting for the next ride. Praise God, because it means that I was saved from the life I once lived. Praise God, because I have been adopted to live a life of hope and joy.
